wears on the outside is only to cover the scars that are imbedded on her soul.
Coming out of an abusive relationship where she was stripped of her security
and confidence, she chooses to bury it under every man she gives her body to.
After one intoxicated night that she will never remember in its entirety,
everything begins to change. Being seen more for her positive attributes and
less for her faults, Sadie arises from the dark and into a place she feels
safe. But with that comes a chain of events that blur the lines of everything
she thought she needed and everything she’s beginning to want.
say what I need to say. Do you remember all the times you felt jealous when you
shouldn’t have? Don’t answer. Do you remember all the times you felt more than
you knew you should? Don’t answer. I feel all those things too. I hate feeling
them too. I don’t want anything to happen between us that we aren’t ready for.
All it will do is tear us apart. I love what we have, but I hate feeling like a
dirty secret. I hate that I walked into 51 and saw you feeling up a girl but
you can’t even kiss me in front of people. I agreed to the arrangement. I know
we said we wouldn’t do serious. I don’t want to get married, Colt. Not anytime
soon at least. But why can’t we find a balance? Okay, answer.” Colt turned
around and I was scared. He didn’t look mad. That’s not why I was scared. I was
scared because he held the power to rip away the one thing that made me whole,
being with him. “So I guess now is when we finish that conversation,
huh?”If he was looking for me to answer him, I didn’t. I simply stood there and
waited for him to continue. “I don’t know what you want me to say Sadie. I’m
not ready to be tied down. I’m not ready to feel like I’m cheating on you if my
friends see me making out with another girl. I sound like a selfish prick. I
hear myself and wonder who I’ve become. There’s just something about you Sadie
that makes you different. Maybe it’s our friendship. I respect you and care
about you. But I want you to really hear me when I say this. I don’t want to
hurt you. If you feel yourself falling for me, leave this. Walk away from
whatever this is. I’m really serious about that. I’m not ready for a
relationship. I don’t want to lose you but if it will keep you from hurting, I’m
willing to let you go.”
Barbara Speak loves nothing more than being allowed to share her ideas and
thoughts through books that so many enjoy. When she’s not writing she’s caring
for her son and daughter along side her amazing husband in rural Missouri. She
has 5 more babies but these are covered in fur. Bode the boxer, Tucker the
beagle and Lily, Callie and Connor her kitties.